Why Your Smartest People Might Be Quietly Withdrawing

At first glance, everything seems fine.

The teams are delivering (mostly). Not every project is on track, but many are. People say the right things in meetings.

But under the surface, you suspect something is off.

The people you used to count on for bold ideas now just nod along—or quietly disappear into their silos. People don’t offer to help each other like they used to. Bickering is on the rise. Response times in Slack are trending toward sluggish.

It’s like the excitement and creative juju is gone, replaced by a background of deadness and disinterest. Meetings that used to recharge you now drain you. You’re not sure when it started—only that you feel it now: the fading energy, the lost aliveness, a subtle undercurrent of disengagement.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone—and you're not imagining it.

When the experience of working with your team shifts from high-energy collaboration to transactional underwhelm, an often-overlooked culprit is a breakdown in authentic communication.

And I don’t mean top-down announcements or email blasts.

I mean the kind of everyday open conversations that keep people connected—to you and to each other.

When that goes, people shift into survival mode. They stop sharing. They shut down.

The Cost of Quiet

When your sharpest minds stop bringing their full perspective, you lose more than productivity.

You lose pattern recognition and creative problem solving. You lose risk detection. You lose mentorship and internal support structures.

And when people feel like they have to defend every unpopular take, the organization loses its edge—the very thing that made it resilient and innovative in the first place.

Everyone talks about the cost of attrition. But what’s even worse is when tribal knowledge stops being shared before people ever leave.

That’s the tragedy nobody talks about.

And ironically, the first to withdraw are often the ones who care the most—the long-timers who paid attention, who tried to raise red flags.

When they’re ignored, when the iceberg they warned about finally hits (layoffs, reorgs, cost-cutting), they don't just feel disappointed. They feel disempowered.

And understandably so.

Reigniting Team Engagement

I’ve been that person.

And I’ve also led teams full of them.

Trust me: high-performance teamwork doesn’t happen because of a new tool, a training, or a team outing.

It happens when people see that what they’re doing matters. When they can bring more of themselves to work—and be respected for it.

When they can speak freely—and see real action come from real dialogue.

People don’t stay engaged because they get a 3% raise. They stay engaged because they feel genuinely seen and valued for their unique contribution.

Taking the First Step

Yep, this authentic leadership thing is kinda rough when you’re confronted with so many things that aren’t going how you intended.

But it’s also one of the most rewarding aspects of a well-lived life.

Besides—we desperately need more people to take this on. So—if you're willing—let’s do it together, and help each other improve along the way.

Reconnect with Yourself(Before You Try to Fix the Team)

Super-Secret Technique #1: Tell the Truth

If you’ve been dragging yourself through the days, waiting for a light at the end of the tunnel—your team already knows.

Maybe not consciously, but they feel it.

You might think you’ve shielded them. You haven’t.

Real leadership means removing the invisible barriers that block trust. And one of the most powerful ways to do that is simply telling the truth.

You don’t need to dump your personal life on them. But you can say something like:

“These past few months have been tough for me for X, Y, and Z reasons. I know my energy hasn't been what it should be. I want to get back to what made me excited in the first place—but I can't do it alone.”

Super-Secret Technique #2: Try to Give a Damn About the Mission

It’s normal for the excitement of a mission to fade.

At first, it’s effortless—something you naturally care about. Later, it becomes something you know you should care about—but don’t feel in your bones anymore.

Don’t panic.

It doesn’t necessarily mean the mission was lame all along. More likely, your mind did what human minds do: it turned a living possibility into a dead concept.

The good news here is: Since the change was internal, you have the power to reignite your own fire (who else can?).

Ask yourself:

• Why did I care about this in the first place?
• What happens if we actually succeed?
• What future here still excites me?

Create new meaning for yourself. Then—share it with your team.

Super-Secret Technique #3: Take Care of Yourself

None of this works if you're running on fumes.

You are a human being, not an Avenger.

Respect your basic needs:

Eat. Sleep. Hydrate. Move. Breathe.

Find small, sustainable ways to refill your own tank.

Your team doesn’t just need your direction. They need your aliveness.

Reconnection & Reconciliation

Super-Secret Technique #4: Value & Model Openness

Once you start reconnecting to yourself, and to the “why,” your team will notice the shift.

You don’t have to lecture anyone about "psychological safety."

Just live it.

• Invite questions you don’t know the answers to.
• Share excitement about the work (without faking it).
• Admit when you’re struggling and ask for help when needed.

Super-Secret Technique #5: Demonstrate a Commitment to Communication & Teamwork

Healthy communication doesn't just bounce back by magic.

You can nudge it in the right direction by inviting the team to co-create the new vibes:

• “What’s one small thing we could all do to make collaboration easier?”
• “If you see something that feels ‘off’—what would make it easier to bring it up?”

You don’t need to worry about forcing people to be vulnerable, but by you taking the first bold step, you are creating an opening for others to join in.

Sometimes it helps if you are not the one leading the meeting. Putting your voice on the same level as your team can create more space for them to share their insights and the hidden context which is critically important.

Super-Secret Technique #6: Find What You Admire About People, and Tell Them

If some of your most thoughtful team members have gone quiet, seek them out and attempt to restore the admiration and respect between you.

Do your best not to make it weird, of course. But even that is worth the risk if it means the opportunity to say what should have been said a long time ago.

• Let them know you notice their critical thinking, hard work, and their contribution to the work and to the team. Don’t copy-paste these for each team member: Actually take a moment to look and see what do you actually admire about them.
• You know you can count on them for certain things (being willing to adapt, not afraid to get hands dirty, etc.) … tell them who they have been for you.
• Acknowledge what you can. But don’t apologize for things you aren’t sorry about. For example:

“Even though I am ultimately accountable for decisions about ________, I recognize in the case of XYZ project, you raised concerns and I believe I did a bad job of making sure you you were clear that I take what you say seriously. If that has negatively impacted your experience of working here, than I am really sorry about that.

I value your perspective and partnership and I intend to make sure you know that your words have weight, even if the circumstances don’t always make that obvious.

You also don’t have to take the lead in the conversation either. Just the act of genuinely listening can begin to restore their trust.

They might be your most valuable partners in leading the next chapter.

You Got This: Leading with Vulnerability and Courage

The leaders who earn the deepest trust aren’t the ones who get everything right.

They’re the ones who wrestle with their own fears, doubts, and blind spots—and stay in the game anyway.

You don’t have to signal certainty all the time.

You don’t have to fake excitement you don’t feel.

Realness draws people in like moths to flame.

And people can smell the stink of “putting on an act” a mile away (the committed ones, anyway).

If you’re feeling stuck—please reach out. That’s why we’re here: To empower your leadership and your team’s extraordinary success.

Have you experienced something similar on your team?

We'd love to hear how you've navigated it—or where you're still feeling stuck.

Drop a comment. You never know who needs to hear your story right this moment.